Who needs them, when we have them?

So I have noticed a lot of doppleganger sounds on the radio!

First example:

Do You Remember? by Jay Sean (& Sean Paul & Lil Jon)

Who Needs: Chris Brown

This guy sounds a lot like/as good/better than as Chris Brown, so who needs the domestic abuser?

Find Your Love by Drake

Who Needs: Kanye West

This guy is a lot better than Kanye West! So who needs him!

Neighbors Know My Name by Trey Songz

Who Needs: R-Kelly

This guy sounds as good as R-Kelly! So forget that guy.

My First Kiss by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha

Way better than that damn Hellen Keller song. Screw you LMAO, 3OH!3 is the only weird abbreviation band with an 0 in it we need.

Take it Off by Ke$ha

Who Needs: Britney Spears

Seriously….who needs her?

Mmmmm…

Ok, so I just ate a Big Mac and drank a  ton of vodka. And burped. And do you know what I tasted?

DOO-DADS!

Does anyone else remeber Doo-Dads? I used to enjoy them while watching Fraggle Rock.

Yum yum yum! I remember they used to have those spicy cheese sticks and those greatly seasoned chex squares- oh man, if anyone has a recipe for Doo-Dads, I would love it!

Movie Review: Toy Story 3

This movie was sweeter than a barrel full of maple syrup! It was way better than Toy Story 2. And for someone who loved the original Toy Story, it was the best ending you could ever imagine.

One little bit of a criticism though- why did they cut out Bo Peep? She didn’t need to be taken out of the story at all.

Movie Review: Despicable Me

I don’t have a TV and therefore don’t get to see too many trailers. So I go on what I see in movie previews and what other people tell me. The other week someone told me Inception looked good, so we went to see it, and they were right! It was a cool movie.

But sometimes what people tell you is wrong! For example, I heard Despicable Me looked like it was full of fart jokes. Wrong! Despicable Me was a cute movie that I don’t think had any fart jokes in it and was like totally sweet. Like mushy sweet! I totally wouldn’t have guessed that from the trailer.

Despicable Me was a good movie. But I have to ask, what happened to the movies full of singing animals? Like the Princess and the Frog. Except with more animals singing. Like the Little Mermaid! Anyways, I think the Pixar movies need to be less mushy and more peppy.

Pika-pika punch!

So there is this car in my neighborhood. It looks like this, except for more compact car and falling-apartish.

Anyways, you get the general idea- yellow with red tail lights and a spoiler. Everytime I drive by it, I think “Pika-pika!” I used to watch Pokemon a million years ago, I would catch the end of it when I went over to my friend’s house after school and we made Ramen (that’s ray-men) noodles. And after that we would all watch Ready or Not, this totally awesome show that used to be on the Disney channel about girls in middle school. It talked about boobs and periods and guys and everything! It makes Hannah Montana look like preschool time. But anyway, I am getting off topic.

Punch buggy needs a re-vamp. And since I guess kids still dig the little yellow dude, I suggest we start punching each other and shouting “Pika-pika!” when we see yellow cars! Come on people. What the world needs now is more reasons to punch each other.

The Simpsons excellently demonstrate how the game of “Punch buggy” is played. And if you watch the whole episode, Pikachu is even in it! Woah!

Punching starts at 11:50.

My Fake Boyfriend No. 1

…Is Richard Dawkins! Srsly, I have a HUGE crush on him.

And can you see why? On top of his super sexy brain and face, take a look at those legs! Totally wolf-whistle-worthy. I’m sure I will have many more super sexy Richie Dawkins posts up in the future. Mmmm-mmmm. He sure evolved nice. 😉

Vibrators in the news!

Its what I’ve known all along: vibrators are great for teenage girls.

Buy your daughter a vibrator when she is 13. Nothing fancy, just a basic one to start out. And give her some books so she knows how to use it. Leave them in her room gift wrapped to minimize the awkwardness if you want. Give her a running head start on discovering her sexuality and what feels good to her. There’s nothing dirty about it- its a natural part of being human. She can’t go to a sex shop and get one herself, which is a shame. And I mean, dudes start jacking it then (if not sooner), so like, whats the big deal?

Its Math, You Dick (NSFW)

This made me laugh so hard. Right before this, Penn had said “We don’t give a damn if Pythagoras used dicks for sides of his triangles, he kicks your ignorant ass…” Of course, I immediately thought of triangles made of out little dick drawings. I didn’t think they would go there, but they did! Sweet.

Other dildos:

So ORIGINAL I’m screaming my pants off.

I found this, on the Logo website of all places. Check this out:

Oh, look at me, I’m Hugh Hefner! I’m an old heterosexual rich white guy who sleeps with young girls, mostly white blondes! I AM SO FREAKIN ORIGINAL!  Because absolutely no other old white heterosexual men have ever aspired to date young women, particularly blondes, preferably more than one. NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THAT! I AM SO ORIGINAL!

Advertising sucks.

The Sarah Silverman Program

It was (and IS!) one of my all time favorite shows. I can’t believe it was canceled- so ozay!  One a scale from one to ten, it is FREAKIN’ AWESOME.

For just one example, check out this episode. If you just want to hear the song thats been stuck in my head for days, click to about 14:09.

Vow Wow